Navy Week!

Here in Adelaide, as anyone who has walked down North Terrace recently can tell you, it’s Navy Week! Ah the navy, the worst line of Australia’s defences!

But what does Navy Week mean?

Well according to the navy website, it starts on October 16 and runs to October 25 (yes, that is in fact longer than a week), and includes events such as a Sea Ride on the HMAS Parramatta (not open to the public). Huh. You’d think that navy men and navy women would be a little sick of the sea, being in the navy and all.

But what else happens in navy week? No one really knows, but this is a good guess:

• All navy men and navy women are lauded by members of their home town, or in the case of a city-dweller, in their home suburb.
• All navy men and navy women are entitled to a 5% discount on all purchases (excluding gaming consoles and iPods, sorry no rainchecks).
• All school children are required to thank at least three navy men or navy women for their services to protecting the high seas.
• Pirates curtail their actions for the week, in alignment with the Pirate-Navy Navy Week Treaty.
• No one is permitted to make sodomy jokes for the entire duration of Navy Week.
• All navy men and navy women are granted certain law enforcement powers, in that they are permitted to make a citizens arrest for breaking any laws, or any rules of navy week, and cast the offending party into the ocean.
• The army and the air force agree to not do anything interesting, lest they distract the attention of the public from the navy
• They raise the flag a couple of times probably.