True Story

2 years ago

We were playing spin the bottle in the parking lot and it pointed at Robby. When the girl was all ew he got mad and threw the bottle and it hit this guy coming out of the drug store. The guy dropped his plastic bag and out tumbled two boxes of Tampax and a bunch of Snickerses.

As usual Robby was instantly apologetic but the guy didn’t even get mad, he just sighed and picked up the bottle and went to his car, leaving everything else on the ground. Once he was gone we split the tampons and candy bars with the girls and someone said well now what.

I said we could keep playing but the bottle would only exist in our minds. The girls said Josh are you retarded or what which was kind of a catch phrase by that point. I pantomimed spinning the bottle and then eagerly watched the empty space between us. Look at him and all his acting, the girls said. Oh my god remember when he was in the school play.

Uh oh! I said. The bottle’s stopping … on … you! and I pointed at Robby. He looked at me, aghast, said: So your pretend bottle is pointing at me. You want to kiss me on the lips. And I said: No, but sometimes it points at a dude. Sometimes that happens and you have to deal with it. I want it to be realistic.

And everyone got up and wandered back to the bus stop and talked about something else. I cried out: I just want you to believe in my imaginary creation! And then twenty years later I made up this story and put it on the internet.